Birthdays

I am 21 now, this happened June 25th and I'm very glad it finally happened for more than obvious reasons. I have had a really hard time being who I am at 20 years old, I felt exceptionally unlucky. 

As 20 went along, a lot of unfortunate things kept happening to me that have never happened before. It confused me and I questioned what I was doing and where I was going (I still do). Everything was sort of falling apart, my grades were going down and my dog was slowly dying; I didn't notice how upset I was until It began to show on my skin. When things finally just fucked up, It made me hate everything.

Now that I've been out of school and seeing some improvement on my skin it's helped reassure myself that I'm okay and that failing is okay. I know that I am practically the same as I was just a few months ago but it's always comforting having some sort of starting line.

How Do I Put This?

I was never good with words, which is the reason why I never pursued writing, but I still want nothing more than to be effective in when I speak or write. Effective in the way, that when I decide to explain my thought processes, others can understand my arguments.

With things that mean the most to me I want to be non biased so that those who disagree with my ideas can still hear me out. I personally believe it takes a lot in a human, a species who tends to be selfish and stubborn (this does not omit me from that), to take the time in explaining themselves and at the same time be considerate of others.

There are great writers and speakers that address issues with so much grace and poise. I envy that because I can get so mean and unfair.