I have anxiety. At first I
thought I was just sick, I would just randomly get short of breath, throat
closing up, body feeling weak, which would lead to me feel nervous and
nauseous. I thought maybe I had asthma because my little brother has it but
eventually it just clicked.
Like many people it’s hard to
think of mental illness as a ‘real’ illness, it’s all in my mind so why can’t I
just get over it? Well, I’m not sure why but I really want to find out how to
control it and eventually eliminate it from my life. It is the most
uncomfortable I’ve felt and I absolutely hate it, I hate that I can’t control
it. It’s getting to the point where I just randomly feel overwhelmed and
physically sick.
It doesn’t help that I am
stressed with my work environment, trying to keep my job in order to pay my
college tuition and other bills. I can’t seem to get away from all the negative
people in my life; I’m struggling trying to be happy. Yet at the same time, I
am afraid of change and of the outcomes.
August is the last month I
have for relaxation and I want to enjoy it. I know it will be difficult but I
want what I deserve, peace of mind. I am publishing this as a promise to myself
that I will eliminate all the things that make me unhappy from my life and
speak up when things upset me.
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