Turn Out

Last year, like any normal human I made a New Years Resolutions list for myself (link here: http://marilyninreallife.blogspot.com/2012/12/new-years-resolutions.html) and just to make this short, for the most part I failed, only accomplishing 1, 4, 10, and 15.

This past year has been by far the worst in my short stupid life. I have never felt so defeated and afraid of my future before, and its actually really stupid. Before I begin to rant about all the shitty things that happened to me I’m going to list my new goals in no particular order for the year of 2014.

1.     Drink more water

2.     Take care of the skin on my body

3.     Read and write more

4.     Try harder

5.     Enjoy some company

6.     Stop self-pitying

7.     See an rap/hip hop artist live

8.     Go somewhere

9.     Spend less money on fast food

10.   Eat good food

11.   Wear that swim suit

12.   Give myself more credit

13.   Learn, comprehend

14.   Get some muscles

15.   Be content with how I decided to spend my time

Online Shopping is Bad

November has been the nicest month to me this school year, probably because I got really cheap stuff and had a break from school, I also finalized the audit for my biology class, so school has been amazingly easy. One things for sure is my spending habits have flown through the roof and my savings have gone significantly low. I'm not sure as to why I'm buying so many things, It could be disguised as a coping mechanism with my recent losses, but it feels really great getting some new stuff.

Been listening to lots of Vampire Weekend recently and Lauryn Hill! 

Reasons to Live

I've been dying for these specific boots from Acne for a very long time, but I couldn't buy them because they're fucking expensive as hell and sold out anyways. These past few months I have been randomly looking online for some similar and today I hit the fucking jackpot. 25 dollars.... 25... dollars... during a flash sale and I added a 5 dollar scarf for free shipping; this is what I thrive on. 

New Hobby

I took on a new bobby recently thats helped keep my mind off my recent encounters with misfortune; I started watching entire seasons of television shows. It may not sound like a healthy hobby, but It actually feels like I'm doing something productive. I never understood how people could feel/be so passionate about something that seemed completely irrelevant to life, but in actuality these television shows made me feel more connected and humane than any human could have during my hardships.

It all sounds really dumb but the characters I followed really helped keep my mind off of things.

Equilibrium

I know its been a long time since I've written anything. I am here to report how badly my life has been sucking. I have acne now, I don't get sleep anymore, my dog is near death, I am failing at my own major, I cry all of the time, I don't know If I should transfer to uni, I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I feel sick. Only upside is that I lost 6 pounds all together.

I want to be happy, I want to love something, I want to so badly, theres nothing else I want in life than to love a craft. I'm not good at anything, I have reached equilibrium. 

Alright Y'all

Today I finished my very first exams for both my biology and math class.

I have been studying since last Sunday for my biology test and I think I did all right, yeah, I'm feeling all right. I recognized a lot of the material on the test but I was sometimes stuck between two answers.

I personally find that the most important thing about taking your very first exam in a course is learning how to successfully prepare for the next one.

As far as my math exam goes, well, I can honestly say I didn’t do well, but it was of my best abilities at the time. After deciding I’d focus all of my time on my biology test I knew I wasn’t going to get the grade I wanted. Regardless, I’m going to be okay with whatever grade I receive because I know that my next test will go well.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit

I’m here to report that I have successfully caught up/completed all of my homework/assignments to this date without crying! I did whine a little bit and question what I was doing with my life but, I did it. I still have to catch up on my biology studying but I’m going to tutoring this upcoming Tuesday.

And regardless of this pre-assessment test I took today that tried to tell me what my outcome will be for this science course I am not going to give up!!!!!

I am going to get an A IN BIOLOGY 189 YOU FUCKING HERE ME!? FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME!