Turn Out

Last year, like any normal human I made a New Years Resolutions list for myself (link here: http://marilyninreallife.blogspot.com/2012/12/new-years-resolutions.html) and just to make this short, for the most part I failed, only accomplishing 1, 4, 10, and 15.

This past year has been by far the worst in my short stupid life. I have never felt so defeated and afraid of my future before, and its actually really stupid. Before I begin to rant about all the shitty things that happened to me I’m going to list my new goals in no particular order for the year of 2014.

1.     Drink more water

2.     Take care of the skin on my body

3.     Read and write more

4.     Try harder

5.     Enjoy some company

6.     Stop self-pitying

7.     See an rap/hip hop artist live

8.     Go somewhere

9.     Spend less money on fast food

10.   Eat good food

11.   Wear that swim suit

12.   Give myself more credit

13.   Learn, comprehend

14.   Get some muscles

15.   Be content with how I decided to spend my time

Online Shopping is Bad

November has been the nicest month to me this school year, probably because I got really cheap stuff and had a break from school, I also finalized the audit for my biology class, so school has been amazingly easy. One things for sure is my spending habits have flown through the roof and my savings have gone significantly low. I'm not sure as to why I'm buying so many things, It could be disguised as a coping mechanism with my recent losses, but it feels really great getting some new stuff.

Been listening to lots of Vampire Weekend recently and Lauryn Hill! 

Reasons to Live

I've been dying for these specific boots from Acne for a very long time, but I couldn't buy them because they're fucking expensive as hell and sold out anyways. These past few months I have been randomly looking online for some similar and today I hit the fucking jackpot. 25 dollars.... 25... dollars... during a flash sale and I added a 5 dollar scarf for free shipping; this is what I thrive on. 

New Hobby

I took on a new bobby recently thats helped keep my mind off my recent encounters with misfortune; I started watching entire seasons of television shows. It may not sound like a healthy hobby, but It actually feels like I'm doing something productive. I never understood how people could feel/be so passionate about something that seemed completely irrelevant to life, but in actuality these television shows made me feel more connected and humane than any human could have during my hardships.

It all sounds really dumb but the characters I followed really helped keep my mind off of things.

Equilibrium

I know its been a long time since I've written anything. I am here to report how badly my life has been sucking. I have acne now, I don't get sleep anymore, my dog is near death, I am failing at my own major, I cry all of the time, I don't know If I should transfer to uni, I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I feel sick. Only upside is that I lost 6 pounds all together.

I want to be happy, I want to love something, I want to so badly, theres nothing else I want in life than to love a craft. I'm not good at anything, I have reached equilibrium. 

Alright Y'all

Today I finished my very first exams for both my biology and math class.

I have been studying since last Sunday for my biology test and I think I did all right, yeah, I'm feeling all right. I recognized a lot of the material on the test but I was sometimes stuck between two answers.

I personally find that the most important thing about taking your very first exam in a course is learning how to successfully prepare for the next one.

As far as my math exam goes, well, I can honestly say I didn’t do well, but it was of my best abilities at the time. After deciding I’d focus all of my time on my biology test I knew I wasn’t going to get the grade I wanted. Regardless, I’m going to be okay with whatever grade I receive because I know that my next test will go well.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit

I’m here to report that I have successfully caught up/completed all of my homework/assignments to this date without crying! I did whine a little bit and question what I was doing with my life but, I did it. I still have to catch up on my biology studying but I’m going to tutoring this upcoming Tuesday.

And regardless of this pre-assessment test I took today that tried to tell me what my outcome will be for this science course I am not going to give up!!!!!

I am going to get an A IN BIOLOGY 189 YOU FUCKING HERE ME!? FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME! 

La la la la

I randomly watched the Burberry Fall 2013 collection show and this song played. I will admit 'Happy Together' is a song that can get annoying fast but this is a refreshing cover, its so beautiful

Update

I'm a week into my semester and I'm really enjoying all of my classes and professors, I picked them well this time around. Due to some setbacks I am behind on some of my studying and homework but it's nothing I can't fix by the end of this week. I also have 4 assignments due for my Biology Lab by the 9th and have my first tests in my Math-189 and Biology lecture both on the 19th of this month. I feel confident that I will do well if I continue to have a positive mind set and study like I planned to.

I also promised myself I'd eat clean this month and i'm doing alright so far, although I have a really awesome deal waiting for me at Strip Burger so I might just break it for a day... LOL 


I will update you at the end of the week to see if i've successfully competed my assignments without crying. 

I haven't posted a song in a while so heres one of the many Mariah Carey songs I loved listening to last month. 

Science Is Cool?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about change and about the route I’ve decided to take. This coming Monday I start my very first science course. I’ve successfully managed to finish all of my prerequisites first so that my brain could focus on what was most important towards the end of my degree. The end is near now and I am admittedly frightened of what my life will become afterwards. I’m sure it wont be drastically different, but that’s what is legitimately scaring me the most. I couldn’t even change my major if I wanted to; I don’t love anything, I have no hobbies, I’m not passionate about anything, I’m not talented, I don’t do anything.

I really hope I end up loving my major because I don't know what i'm going to do. 

Commercial Music

I used to get a lot of my music from commercials on tv because they are always so catchy and have a nice melody to them. The first time I saw this commercial I immediately fell in love with the song; unfortunately it was only made for the advertisement. Anyways, I'd love to learn how to play this piece on piano but i'm not skilled enough to recognize specific notes ;~;

Can U Pay My Bill$?

The new school year is coming soon which means it's time to buy books and pay my monthly tuition fee. Last year my family members were constantly nagging me to get a job (because its SO easy) after my parents paid for all of my schooling (which I am completely thankful for).

I'm proud to say that this semester I've paid it all on my own! I'm sort of broke but I did it, and I’m really happy about it. I even bought myself something today.

Even though I'm really nervous for what’s coming up, I am somewhat eager to finally give my brain new material! SCIENCE!!!!!!! ALSDKJFA DLAU2U34U80QWJFASD 

I can't wait for my order to come in, I always buy atleast one pair of BDG Jeans when Urban has their $39 sale